Tis The Season?

Tis the Season?

Tis the season to be jolly? It really should be, but often isn’t. For many who have been separated from their families due to various circumstances this can be a very depressing time of year.

I was moved with compassion last night as I read a post from a mom whom has had her children taken from her home as a result of a sexual offense her husband committed. She had no knowledge of the offense and immediately responded in a proper way when she became aware of it.

Regardless of her efforts, which included divorcing her husband in order to satisfy what she thought Family Services expected, her children were given up for adoption. She has since reunited with her husband because they love one another and unfortunately, that’s all they have at this moment.

Situations like this are not uncommon. The casualties of sin are many. The fallout from these types of offenses affect many innocent people. Sadly, often the well meaning efforts of our justice system create more victims, rather than bring healing and reconciliation.

So I write this blog today to those who dread the holiday season. Those who are reminded each day by the conversations of coworkers and friends that their life is not the same as so many others. Those who roam the aisles of the toy department and the racks of children’s clothes and decide what gift they would buy if they could actually give it. All the while, their insides are torn apart with grief, guilt and disappointment.

To all of you, I have a message. My message will not fix your problem or bring your child back today. It may or may not have any effect on you at all. It is only words on a page. But know this, these words come from my heart.

First of all, nothing ever stays the same. As time moves forward you are drawing closer to the day when the child you lost will make decisions for themselves. The time they spent in your arms will not be forgotten regardless of the distance between you. As they become more and more acquainted with the turmoils of life they too will recognize how easy it is to find yourself in a tempest or even shipwrecked. Time does help heal all wounds.

Secondly, regardless of how alone you feel, know that there are people in your life who care. The nature of the situation may make them feel too awkward to even speak of it. But it doesn’t mean that they don’t feel your pain, wish they could help or pray for you.
It is a fact that often when we need someone we tend to isolate ourselves. We make all sorts of excuses as to why we should just pretend that no one cares or that we would just burden those who do care if we talk to them. Don’t do that!

Recognize the people in your life that want to love you and allow them to do so. Don’t be afraid to express how hurt you are and let them listen to your heart. Allow them to partner with you as you go through this season and be thankful they are there for you.

Thirdly, do something about it. You are not powerless. There are options. Practice your faith. Pray! Give God thanks for the time you have had in the past and the good times still to be had in the future. Ask others to pray for you and with you.

Listen to yourself. Our words are powerful. Make an extra effort to only allow positive communication to come out of your mouth. Build yourself up and encourage yourself. Give thanks for all that you have and add value to others by telling them how much they mean to you and by pointing out their strengths.

Finally, stay busy! Look for ways you can be a blessing to someone else. Volunteer to help those less fortunate than yourself. This is a time of year when many are hurting. You can be a source of healing and help to them and in doing so you will experience an uplift in your spirit as well.

Determine in your heart that there is nothing and no one that is going to break your spirit or steal your joy. You do have a future, and you have the ability to shape that future in a positive way. You are not alone and you are not dead. As long as you have life there is hope!

My prayers are with all of you hurting this holiday season. I pray that the love of God is made real to you and that the void in your heart is filled by His Spirit. I also pray that the joy that is not diminished by circumstance would be your strength and ever present in your life! God bless you!